I am so freaked out.
Since I started working on Immaculate Heart V2.0 my nights are getting more and more hysterical. I'm so excited when I try to sleep I sometimes find myself jumping up from a dream to reality because someone in my dream told me it might be a good idea to wake up and work now. First this happend at 6 AM, then 5 .. you get my drift.
And then there are the super loud voices in my head when I try to sleep and when I'm dreaming. Soooo many people talking in my ear, asking me about my robots, even my robots themselves have comments about what they look like. It's cute in a way because all the real loud voices in my head are really excited about the robots. But it's also super painfull because they feel the need to critisize me and how I am. Real mean stuff.. yes.. the robots say real mean things to me when I'm sleeping. It's horrible!
So needless to say I'm kinda going nutties here. I always knew I had it in me but seriously, I'm so sleep deprived, my moods are getting totally rediculous. Saturday I went to see wolverine with friends and friends of friends, and it was real fun. But at the end of the night I found myself bitching and complaining about all my flaws to a friend. I even broke out in tears.. in friggin public!
I'm not even gonna say what other weird shit I found myself doing lately.. it's just to damn embarassing.
But still, working on the bots is soooo much fun, I love it and I gladly sacrife my sanity for art. So last night, I was working in my office and decided it would be a good idea to spend the night there so I could use my last energy to draw, instead of biking home in the middle of the night. And I could get an early start since I'm up at ghostly hours anyway.
That was al very well but I did not fully realise what that meant.. the previous owners of the office left me and my friend who I share it with a cute little surprise: mice. A whole bunch of em. Now I'm not that experienced with living with mice so I had no idea they made such weird crunchy noises and omg, they are SO loud when they run!
Obviously I had a hard time trying to sleep but when I did,.. the hairs on my arm stand up when I think about it. I had the most gross dreams of mice and aliens eva!
First I dreamt I was lying on a matress placed in the middle of the office against the huge window we have. But the office wasnt moonlit, it was totally dark. I woke up because of the noises the mice made and when I sat up on the matress and looked around me, I heared nothing anymore. And when my eyes adjusted to the darkness I could see a bit of weird stuff on the floor. I grabbed my cellphone to use it as a flashlight. The whole floor was covered with mice.. they were all just standing there real silent like, looking me straight in the eye. Every single one of them was looking at me!
I dont know where I got the courage to do what I did next but I stood up and stepped off the matress to the floor. All the mice surrounding me moved a bit.. leaving me room to move. And every time I took a step, new mice moved away from me till I had a straight path to the door of the office. I open it and tell them all to go out. They just stand there, looking me straight in the eye. So I start motioning them, making wave like signals towards the door.. and they actually get me and start moving out. Good riddance I'm thinking and when they all leave I closed the door behind them walking to the fringe to get a cold drink.
Then I suddenly hear this american male voice asking me if I'm happy now and if I even know what i did. No shit I think. The voices have a new friend.
Then I wake up. At this point I thought the dream was funny and I kinda giggled a bit and checked my cell to see what time is was which I didnt registrate at all, I only knew it was still to early to call it a night. So I lie down again and go to sleep.
I wake up again because a voice is calling me.. that american male voice. Do you even know what you did?! He asks me. I stand up to see where it's comming from, I put on my shoes because I'm afraid it's a mouse and I dont want it walking around on my naked feet. I walk into the dark office while the voice keeps nagging me about in how much trouble I am. I dont see any mice but I see a greyish centipede type of creature on the floor but slimey instead of scaley. it has eyes on his head and it's staring me right in the face.. I think it was 30 cm long and 15 cm thick. "You think they won't find out? You think that's ok?!" I dont see the creature actually talking but I know the voice I'm hearing is his! I'm so digusted by this that I put my boot on the thing and put my whole body weight on that foot. It makes a squichy and crunchy sound.. totally dead. But the voice! it doesnt stop! It's furious with me. "Are you serious?! The nerve you have! You are in so much shit! " I just wanted it to stop talking, I even killed it, I was freaking out at that point. then I saw another one just like is on the floor comming towards me with a great speed. "Did you think we didnt care?!"
Luckily I woke up. I did not want to see the end of that. After I calmed down, I fel asleep again.
I wake up again because of the mice and their noises. I think I walked up to the fridge again for a drink but I'm not sure. And I see this big ass white rat. Totally different from the moce and he's huge! With the red eyes and everything. I already tell myself this is probably not a nice rat but he can't be worse then the grey slimey centipede with the telepathic american male voice,.. right? So I stand on a chair.. what I cliche I know. But I really didnt want that freaky thing to reach me. It walks up to the chair and tries to climb it. No way, mother fucker.. that's what I was thinking. But then it grows! Holy shit! I quickly go for the chair to the table and the damned thing starts growing even further untill it was half of my size. And then it attacked me ofcourse and I woke up.
I'm so tired right now.. I dreamt some other stuff too.. all these people coming into the office while I'm sleeping and this weird lady picked me up in avan with a bunch of other kids and tells us we're gonna do something fun. The whole time she's driving the van she's totally freaky eyed. and there was this dinner with royalty and one of the royal ladies had this little daughter baby that I needed to carry around and then stuff happend. And then the last dream I had I wake up because I noticed something was at my feet staring at me and I couldnt see it. I only knew it was big.. and it's startes walking over my body to my face, gnawling on my face, totally agressive and I try to fight it off with my blanket.
*sigh* Seriously.. right now all I want is to be saved by price charming and be taken to a 2 persons sleeping pod where I'm held and cuddled and save and no mice or mean voices can get me.